So I finally accomplished another thing on my list of New Year’s Resolutions – run a half marathon! Yesterday I ran in the Seattle Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon. This whole time I thought my next blog entry would be about the things I wish I had known, or the things I had done better to prepare for this, but after doing it, I actually think I was well prepared despite it being my first. Thanks to advice from friends, and a little online reading, I can honestly say the only other thing I could’ve done better to prepare was train better. And I knew that going into it.
A year and a half ago I ended up washing my iPod in the washer after getting home from the gym one day. Since then, I haven’t worked out or ran to any music. Tricia seems to think that was crazy/bad ass of me to run a half marathon with no music, but it sure gave me some time to myself to think. The following are some thoughts I had while running 13.1 miles without any music and only my thoughts to keep me occupied.
On my way to the start line:
Sean just left me. Why did he leave me?! I’m glad Tami is with me right now. I couldn’t start this alone. I can’t do this. Holy crap – this is happening. It’s time. I’m not ready for this. I’m scared. Am I starting to cry? Stop it. You’ll be fine. Save that shit for the finish line. Oh no, I have to pee again.
Crossing the start line:
They were playing some rap song and so I started channeling my inner bad ass hip hop until I realized we actually needed to start running, instead of swagger across the start line.
I got 99 problems but a – oh crap time to run. What are you doing? Stop swaggering. This is no time for bad ass swagger. Run. Holy crap, I just crossed the start line for a HALF MARATHON. Crap, I definitely need to pee.
Coming up on mile 1: I’ll pee when I get to the first mile. I’ll just stop real quick, no problem. There’s mile 1! Oh no, look at the line. How do this many people have to pee already?
Between miles 2-3: I don’t have to pee that bad. Maybe I can hold it the whole time. Maybe it’ll evaporate out of me! Oh my god I can’t believe I’m doing this right now. Stop crying!
Mile 3: Mile 3, gotta pee. I feel pretty good. I can do this!
Mile 4.5: There they are! The perfect porta potties. The ones I’ve been waiting for. Time to pee!
Mile 5-6: Feeling pretty good but maybe I should try a shot blok now. That tastes pretty good. Crap. Now I’m thirsty. I need water. I need mile 6 and then there will be water. And then I’ll walk for a minute.
Mile 5-6: WHERE IS MILE 6?! WHERE IS THE WATER! Oh there it is.
Hey I know that sign. Is that Tricia? IT IS TRICIA!
Mile 7-8: I feel bad. I should’ve stopped and talked to Tricia. I just hugged her all sweaty and ran off. I’m a bad friend. What is that up ahead? Is that a hill? IS THAT A STEEP ASS HILL? Whose dumb ass idea was that? Screw it, I’m walking. I need to save my energy, right?
Mile 9: I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. Four more miles. I can do it!
Mile 10: Three more miles! I should be done in about a half hour! That’s usually how long my 5k’s take, right?!
Mile 10-11: Are the miles getting longer? Where is mile marker 11? Why am I not there yet? What sick bastard made the last 3 miles the longest?
Mile 11: Two more miles! Everything hurts. There’s the Space Needle straight ahead! We’re almost done! Wait – why are we turning left onto the viaduct? WHY ARE THEY MAKING EVERYTHING LONGER!
Mile 11.6: That guy said we would hit the water stop at the top of the hill and it would only be 1.1 mile longer. WHERE IS MILE MARKER 12! WHY DID HE LIE? Oh, there it is.
Mile 12: This sun is killer. I wonder if I should do what that girl just did and take off my shirt, too. I probably have a six pack by now. I mean really, I should definitely have one.
Mile 12.9: SCREW YOU KING 5 MAN! Three quick turns and I’m done? I remember this part of the course from a previous run and another bastard said the same thing. AND HE LIED. It is NOT 3 quick turns and done. I hate you King 5 man. I hate you. You know nothing. NOTHING!
Where is mile marker 13? WHY AM I RUNNING UP MERCER? WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO PUT A HILL AT THE END OF A FREAKING HALF MARATHON?! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! F*&^ YOU MERCER, F*&^ YOU MERCER, F*&^ YOU MERCER!
Mile 13: F*&^ YOU MERCER, F*&^ YOU MERCER, oh it’s Tricia! I can’t believe she made it here in time! F*&^ YOU MERCER, hey it’s my mom! I can’t believe she’s here! F*&^ YOU MERCER, F*&^ YOU – OMG IT’S THE FINISH LINE!
Finish Line: That was killer. I can’t believe I’m finally done. My body hurts. I need to sit down and stretch. Where are my people? I need to stretch.
Keep running Seattle!